Who’s Got This?

Created on Saturday, 21 January 2012 00:00

Written by Rev. Denise Cordova

I went to lunch with a friend of mine the other day and as we sat down, the food server asked what we wanted to drink. My friend always orders water and I typically vacillate between soda and water. My drink decision usually depends on what I perceive as “will power.” Being cognizant of my weight has always been an issue for me. If I feel “fat” that day, I order water. If I feel good about myself, I order soda, but not any soda will do. I am a Coca Cola drinker and if only Pepsi is served, I ask for Dr. Pepper. I can easily tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi as well as the difference between diet soda and regular soda.

On this day, I was feeling good about myself so I ordered a Coke. The food server looked at me and said, “A Coke… a regular Coke or diet?”

“Regular, please.” I said.

“Regular?” she asked, while giving me the up–down.

“Yes, regular.” I responded, while still in shock over the blatant disapproving look she gave me. I admit I am overweight. I admit that I shouldn’t drink regular Coke or any soda for that matter. I wanted a regular Coke, it’s my choice!

As my friend and I were conversing, the food server came back and placed our drinks on the table, took our food order (she was clearly pleased that I ordered a salad) and left. I took a sip of my soda and immediately knew that it was diet Coke. Given the exchange between me and the server, there is no doubt she understood that I wanted a regular soda, not diet. I had a choice to make. Should I have said something to her and interrupted the nice discussion I was having with my friend, or should I just ignore it? After all, I didn’t need the calories and everyone knows about the evils of high fructose corn syrup! For people who know me, there’s no question in your mind that I would normally tell her to take the soda back and get me a new one. Honestly, I don’t know why I didn’t say anything. I drank the diet Coke. Every time I took a sip of it, I felt as though I was being controlled by someone who had no right to determine what I should and shouldn’t drink. For whatever reason on that day, I didn’t say a word… I settled. I settled for someone else’s judgment and control of what I should look like and be like.

Some of you may bristle at this story. Perhaps you have experienced this. Perhaps you would never put up with something like this. Perhaps you believe that the food server knows best. Perhaps you are thinking we need to pick our battles and this is not the one to pick. I don’t know, but one thing is for certain, I allowed the food server to make the decision for me when the decision should have been mine and mine alone.

As I drove back to work, I concluded that this experience is a metaphor. When it comes to spiritual matters, many times we allow others to determine what we need. We inherently know what we need from God, but instead of following our intrinsic wisdom, we allow our friends, family, pastors, and/or co-worshipers to be the determining factors in the development of our relationship with God. Even when we know what we want, we accept diet instead of the real thing.

There is no way to get around it, diet soda is a fake. A fake sweetener is used in diet soda to make us believe that it’s real, but it’s not. For those of us who take the time to notice, it doesn’t even taste real but we put up with it because it is supposed to be “better” for us. Diet soda is manmade and some religious beliefs are manmade too. We put up with them because we think they make us “better.” We must remember that our relationship with God is not created through the opinions of people. Our relationship with God is nurtured and developed by seeking God and spending time with God without outside influences. There is no substitute.

There will always be fakes. There will always be people trying to make decisions that are in your “best” interest. There will always be people who try to control you and push “their” way as the only way to get it right. Don’t listen to the extrinsic noise of the world. Listen for the “gentle whisper” (1 Kings 19:12) of your soul and use the lens of love (1 John 4:17) as your guide.

Don’t settle. You deserve the real thing. God’s got this.

Rev. Denise Cordova, Pastor
Light of the Soul United Church of Christ